ISLAND ANGEL

THE NEED FOR COMPASSION

I try to escape the memories of despair

The moments, the times when folks pretended to care

Can’t help but grieve over the compassion that they lacked

During those times when the light went black

If only someone would’ve reached out for me

Just once to show a little bit of feeling

Maybe things would be different today

Maybe my life would’ve turned out in a better way

What a difference one person can make

When they’re genuinely carefree from the fake

And they take the time to look at you

And wonder what it was like walking in your shoes

Just a moment to listen and just to talk

To visualize the path I walked

And maybe hold my hand or wipe away a tear

And tell me that soon the fog will clear

Or lend a shoulder to rest my weary head

But just don’t leave my soul for dead

It would’ve been nice to have had that

I wouldn’t be laying here on this concrete slab

Left and neglected by a society

That just didn’t care enough about me.

Filtered Thoughts

Developed Emotions

Inconspicuous reviews

And isolated notions

Of the incisions

That lacerated

And victimized

The virtuous

Imprisoned by memories

Of inflicted injuries

By the predator

Who preyed on

The impaired maliciously

And the abused

Who suffered

Invariably

Incapacitated by

Intense trauma

Stricken luck with bad karma

Inconceivable acts

By the heartless arms of

The illicit

Monster

Now it’s common

Released into society

Innocence deprived of privacy

And the accused

Who walk among the free

Tormented faces

Dying internally

deteriorating

Silently. 

My Perfect World

My world of perfection

Is imperfect

Climbing out of trials

Struggling with inner wounds

Stabbed with conflict

And

Struck with grief

Within the core of my heart

To the heart in my womb

Falsely judged

And condemned

Faced with betrayal

And gossip

Outliving those few

I loved and cherished

Neglected by those

Who proclaimed their love for me

Violated by the ones

Who vowed to protect me

Abused by those that

Swore an oath

‘They’d never hurt me’

Physically attacked

By haters

Verbally ridiculed

 By the envious

Preyed upon

By the predators of evil

If I hadn’t known

Anger or pain

Pride or shame

I’d never have found

The power within me

That built the strength

For me to have courage

To withstand

The evil advocate

For me to gain humility

Obtain integrity

To love

Like I’d never been loved

To have compassion

Beyond measure

For the unfortunate

Who’ve been where I’ve been

A legacy of innocence

Without sin

To make a difference

To those like me

My world of perfection

Is imperfect

You see

“To err is human”

Despite the scars

Left behind from wounds

Inflicted from the past

Or inner-skeletons

From the closet

That intend

To make one go mad

I stand before you

Undefeated

Untainted

By the monsters

Of imperfection

That has perfected

Who I am now

And created

An Island Angel

I am living in my perfect world

Of imperfections…..

A world of transgressions.

In one moment

betrayed by trust

emotions rushed

within brief exhales

quickened thoughts

determines a destiny

accepting life in the rain

A path trodden with rage

And silence

is the language of pain

Glares and glances

speak only to those

who listen with their eyes

Miscommunication

among words of words

I can't hear

I don't listen to what is said

I read what is written in the eyes

Loyalty is stripped from words

with nouns and verbs

And adjectives can't describe

what's hidden deep inside

I won't yell

I can't scream

I refuse to raise a voice

that I don't have

I refuse to return

to feelings I once had

with despair as the aftermath

It's better to be alone

than lonely, angry and sad

One moment that turned me away

from who I was then

from words spoken aloud

To the silence I speak today

and my eyes that read

what I only wish

to say

Betrayed by trust

of my own

I'm deprived

to make a choice

having no voice

in a home

but at the least

I've survived

and I'm alive!

living a life

that I can condone

I may not be ecstatic

but I'm content

in my settlement

for I won't ever fall victim

where my vocals

require sound

I give what I can

and I accept

what I've settled for

It is what I am

Not determined by my hand

but by the land of man

I inhale

and I realize

it's always raining

always pouring

And upon my exhale

I realize

I just keep moving

I still keep doing

quietly

in silence.

HAVE WE NOTZ….

Have we not yet accepted the scenes of the past?
Have we not intercepted the things we’ve never had?
To endure, overcome head-high as we stand.
Walking thru valleys, a stranger to the land
Have we not narrowed down the things of worth?
Have we not made the best of every deed and every word?
To be oblivious to the downcast of those that don’t matter
Retrieving the knowledge that climbs higher than ladders
Have we not yet lived in the prints of happiness?
Have we not yet received the foot that walks it?
To follow to take heed in every aspect that occurs
Speaking as if it was a voice you’ve never heard
Have we not taken for granted the love that matters?
Have we not realized the hearts that we’ve shattered.
As we foolishly walk in the ways of the flesh
Convincing our minds that it’s the best of the best.
Have we not understood the mistakes that we’ve made?
Have we not allowed those thoughts to slowly fade?
Flippin the script on the things that pull us down
Makin the most of every sight and every sound.
Have we not eyes
Have we not ears
Have we not the sense to escape this fear
Have we not hands
Have we not feet
Have we not the strength to sow and to reap
Have we not the heart to open our minds
Have we not the will to sit and intertwine
All that’s for awhile a short period of time
Wasted on what goes as it interferes with life
Have we not underestimated the good in the least expected?
Have we not the faith to only believe in the respected.
There’s room for all, space between spaces
Don’t matter the color or the shape of their faces.
Have we not allowed the definition of diversity?
Have we not taken hold of dismissing conspiracy?
But to take attendance regardless to their status
Inspire their presence so they attend all their classes.
Have we not taken time to view today’s generation?
Have we not made the time to create our own federation?
To grasp a grip so tight and so firm

These are the lessons of life that we learn” 

Help the condemned heal

The indignity of past failures

And alternative choices

That lead to regretful discomfitures

Leaves guilt attempting

To diminish my only features

In emending damages

That can be mended

Condemning gestures

That I receive from condemners

With open opportunity

I labor to make the repairs

To those affected by my stupidity

By loving unconditionally

Yet still firmly

And genuinely

And I must bare the affliction

And animosities

From others

I only have my prayers

To give me strength

They say “forget about the past”

And when I do

It doesn’t last

You don’t get the chance

When you’re a cast out

It fades way too fast

And I’ve no right to ask

To stop giving me

The hideous treatment

That shows clear resentment

For my placement

Because it’s starting to feel

More like this is my punishment

Seems that everything I say and do

Is contradicted by the past

And my efforts make no difference

I’ve done all I can do

To make things right

But it’s always a struggling fight

While I forget about the past

And remain being contrite

Everyone else remembers despite

My continuous exertion to ignite

Hope for the chance

For their eyes to see

The changes in me

And to forget

And let me earn my immunity

To prove myself

And my loyalty

Faithfully

I know my excuses don’t justify

But their actions and words crucify

Although they don’t exactly say

But it’s portrayed in that way

In their expressions

And in their words

Sometimes I think

That even that’s worse

Than a knife wound

Or a gunshot

But it can’t stop

The pain they cause

I can’t make things better

If they continue

To make me feel like the debtor

Who doesn’t pay his dues

Nor can I positively grow

So that they know

That I am not the same

My attendance should show

That I’m trying to sew

Together what’s been torn

I need the help to remove this thorn

So that we can all heal

And we can all feel

The peace that we are looking for

So we don’t feel like this anymore

Why choose to give me the chance

And then turn me away

And keep such distance

There’s no possible way

That they hurt more than I do

I don’t think they fully realize

Or have a clue

That it’s my burden

 And that there’s nothing worse

Than having to live with this taboo

I need to heal too

Far more than they do

They can always move on and dismiss

But I have to live with that bliss

I may never change from this

And if they did

I’d probably always be in amiss

I’m the one who committed the crime

And I know it will take some time

I’m aware of what’s it’s done to them

I’m suffering inside because of it

Shattered and still scuffling

To stay alive

I try to keep my faith

With hidden tears shed inside

That things don’t fall apart

Where I need them to guide

And not divide

Or deny

Me this break

To wipe away the tears they’ve cried

To make it right

And to not let go but hold tight

And believe

That we’ll succeed

Cause it’s not just what we want

It’s really what we need

The healing process is never easy

But with the will and desire

We can actually climb higher

And all of this

Will soon be old and tired

And we’ll finally be

At the stage

Well worth the journey

In being

Truly Happy.

I’m constantly threatened

By the cunning irritable tempters

That lurks about

When discouragement arises

Appearing in different forms

Scheming and awaiting

For frustration to strike me

So that the window of opportunity

Can open for influence to enter

While in a vulnerable state of denial

Noxious options are promoted

With very little divine passages

To flee from the conspiracy

Of the advocate playing its role

In the Grand Design

A sequence of events occur

That led to this particular

 Base of fragility

And the essence of oneself

Is separated into fragments

Leaving choices of a greater fraction

 An initiative for self destruction

The weight of the serpent

Inclines heavily on a burden

Of regret than that of a lawful force

A defect of human character in behavior

Soulful projections of experiences

Become raw reflections

Of a stranger gazing

For a route to enlightenment

To defeat the common selective enemy

That puts all effort

Into dictating my will to claim victory

Over my freedom of agency.

                                                                             by ME

DEVIANT MIND

Deliriously outraged

Notions of perverse thoughts

And twisted impulsive fetishes

Of serving a devious

Yet untypical design

Of vengeance

Wandering with irregular

Ominous images

Of heretical plans

And concise targets

Threaten the tempest boundary

Leaving behind

An unrepresentative substance

Violent queries

Deviate a gauntlet of simulations

Of kinky off-key

Unrelenting and torturous screams

In a colossal dimension

Of immoral opportunities

Where an imperial figure is

Immune to society’s ignorance

Of an opinion

They’ve detonated

The mischievous repulsive beast

That was once tame

In it’s cage

And released

An immortal among demons

Like a pedophile queer

Who’s escaped submission

Unraveled and unplugged

By a faceless community

Was discovered

A deviant mind

In motion.

Freedom from contagion

I anticipate the day when people

Abandon the practices of

Ignorance, gossip and condemnation

Infected diversions to our good will

And human infractions

That should be made official prohibitions

We can never TRULY love one another

Free of these obscurities

Unless we free ourselves

From the obscenities

that impede on our morale of common sense

And human kind can relinquish hypocrisy

So that we can enjoy the splendor of serene harmony

If we can caress the cell of sincerity

And occlude sovereign opinions of rejections

And administer genuine devotions

We become elevated from our mortal feckless disposition

Free from contagion

Free of impropriety

And aviate ourselves to a divine stance of royal inheritance

Worthy of heaven’s jubilee.

The Awakening

I’m only a visiting teacher, she said. And her head hung low

I’m really not very important. I’ll guess I’ll not even go

I’m sure no one will miss me. No one will really care

I’ll see to my work this morning instead of going there

So she hurried around all morning, Her home was polished and swept

When stopping to rest for a moment, she sat in her chair and slept

And scarce had her eyelids fluttered, before a vision came to her sight

And standing there before her was a personage clothed in white.

She saw in His hands the nail prints; His brow where the thorns had lain

His side where the sword had pierced it; His face with its look of pain

“I gave you some work to do”, it seemed she heard HIM say.

“You thought of it no importance, so you stayed at home today.”

“You did not deliver my message. You did not feed my sheep.

You only wept and polished and stayed at home to sleep”.

“Oh Master,”she cried, “Forgive me, that I should fail to see.

Had I done it unto the least of these, I’d have done it unto Thee.”

By Sister Anona T.Peterson

“We must cherish one another, watch over one another, comfort one another and gain instruction, that we may all sit down in heaven together.”

 (Lucy Smith, RS Minutes;24 March 1842)

“And I shall give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom” (D&C 88:77)

True to you?

True to me?

Fake or Real?

You tell me!

True to my life

True to thyself

True to my own cause

True to myself!

One should not be envious of someone who has prospered by unjust deeds. Nor should he disdain someone who has fallen while adhering to the path of righteousness.

A man with deep far-sightedness will survey both the beginning and the end of a situation and continually consider its every facet as important.

Life is like unto a long journey with a heavy burden. Let thy step be slow and steady, that thou stumble not. Persuade thyself that imperfection and inconvenience are the natural lot of mortals, and there will be no room for discontent, neither for despair. When ambitious desires arise in thy heart, recall the days of extremity thou has passed through. Forbearance is the root of quietness and assurance forever. Look upon the wrath of the enemy. If thou knowest only whatit is to conquer, and knowest not what it is to be defeated, woe unto thee; it will fare ill with thee. Find fault with thyself rather than with others.

Strategy is the craft of the warrior. Commanders must enact the craft, and troopers should know this Way. There is no warrior in the world today who really understands the Way of strategy.... It is said the warrior's is the twofold Way of pen and sword, and he should have a taste for both Ways.

In respect to a high level degree Master

Master Dosty

PS. You have taught me to be a humble warrior, Thank you!